Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Dilemmania!

A general notion about the MCQs is that, this type of qns. is the easiest of all. May be for the doomed. Not for me.
Whenever I have a MCQ in front of me, no matter how much ever I push it hard, I'll be left with two or sometimes three possible answers.
Both of them go well as an answer to the question. Infact, both of them will not only seem to be possible, they present themselves as the most probable ones. At the end of the day, I ll somehow turn intellectual enough to correctly choose the culprit and mark him alright. Results? obviously a zuc for the qn. Everytime this happens.
I dunno why, but, everytime I choose a wrong choice when I was left with just two, this scene runs in my mind. 

"One fine day, I choose to retire for the day at my keeps' home instead of my wifes'. The 'coincidence damn it' so happens that my keep is off on rest for the month. Silly me!"

So thats the dilemmania that I have .. 
Whether to choose to hear Suryan FM or Radio Mirchi at any given time?
Whether to choose a particular seat or the other one?
Whether to propose her or the other girl?
Whether to take a leak in the last bay or the last but one?
It goes on and on .. Cofffee or tea? Kings or Wills? Cricket or Futball? Right or Left? 
In all these, I always end up choosing the wrong one! In the sense, the other choice would have made life easy.

I do question myself how does it matter whether you choose this or that in these trivial issues ..
But, in Life everything matters. If the effects of choosing something does matter, then, 'choosing something' will also matter for sure!

See, Frost agrees with this -

"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood and
I took the one less traveled by! 
And that has made all the difference!"

So every choice made, does matter, ok? perfect!

But, but the background mujic says ..

"If theres a bustle in your hedgerow
Dont be alarmed now,
Its just a spring clean for the may queen.
Yes, there are two paths you can go by
But in the long run
Theres still time to change the road you're on.
And it makes me wonder! oooooohhh ..."

aaaarrgghhhh! see, now this dilemma .. Whos right? Frost? or Led Zep?
Oh my dilemmania!

Lets get Cheeky Cheeky - #2

To quit drinking, you should be a drunkard. How can a teetotaler quit drinking?
To go on a hunger strike you should be a glutton. How can a 'andraadam kaatchi' go on a hunger stirke?
To die you should be alive.
To miss something, you should be in possession with it.
To talk politics .. you should be either a dumb-ass or asocial! (Or is it the other way round? 'to do politics, do you need to be asocial'?) Well, I leave it to them!

India is a secular country not just because of the diversities in our caste/religion/language and stuff like that, but it is also due to the variety of political mythos that we Indians believe in. In that context, within India, only Kerala and West Bengal are the places where the Marxian hymns are still lingering  .. But in the coming elections, Mallu-Marxian musicians are a bit stuck up with the intra party dissidence and hence the Congress led allaince has a fair chance to get out something this time. Becasue, last time the Leftists swept away 19 out of 20 from them. This time, Congress has a chance of making an imprint with the numbers and can possibly make it to a two digit tally.

The Hooghly breeze also, seems to be dampening the communist' anthems. Its the TMC which is on a high. Mamata, has an option of going either with the Congress pre/post elections or can help the third front. But as the Leftists have their piece of cake in the third allaince, Mamata will most probably strike a deal with the Congress and if they do, its good news for the anti-third fronts. A total of 42 seats are there. To prevent Left being a factor in the formation of a third front, they are to not be given more than 20 in WB. To do that, TMC and Cong  for sure have to face it together as allies. 

The scenes set up in Maharashtra are not that interesting. There were times when BJP and SS had no visible mete between them. But things have changed now. Regionalism rules! If the NCP can win enough seats, say 30 odd, they can very well pose Sharad Pawar himself as the PM. SS inspite of being in the opposite camp seems to be ok with this move. So the total of 48 seats seems to be swinging towards the NCP & cong alliance, as their opposition themselves are stuck up in a quandary.

While Maharashtra seems to be a Australia-Kenya match, a match itself is lacking in Gujarat. Most probably the Modi led BJP will be given a bye in this elections. OMG! UPA guys, please give some resistance or better give a walkover, its recession time and elections are a costly business!

Karnataka! Land struggling to strike a balance! a balance between bangalore and bengaluru .. Banglore is being hailed as the harbinger of the Western culture to the narrow gullies of India. But, bengaluru is busy safegaurding the Indian culture (Whatever that means!). But those are local issues and on the big picture the state has very much turned itself to be an activists state (Not to be misread). BJP can sit, sleep and enjoy during the run for the elections and can still manage to make a magic with the numbers here. The ball is in the BJP's court and they are to decide how many are they gonna break out of the 28 available. As for Cong, they have no other choice but to go for an alliance with the JDs, which might, might help to improve their numbers. But apart from Bellary, there are 27 other constituencies Soniaji! Do something na! 

"Tum agar humko na chaho toh koi baat nahi, tum agar kisi aur ko chahogi toh mushkil hogi" .. how does that song get a place in parliament .. well anythings possible with Laluji! Lalu's sarcasm, a typical Biharian' words .. But, the incumbent Janata Dals and BJP alliance are doing good. Nitish kumar, well, a secret contender for even the Prime Ministership is carrying out his business quite remarkably. So the sarcasms of Lalu have to catch up with the pragmatic politics of the Paswans. Only then, he ll be able to meet his dream! yeah, I remember, he once said that he too had a wish to be the PM someday. That day is not far, dear. Somehow, accomodate the Cong and the LJP in your circle .. then try clinching as many as possible .. because no Bihari is as Bihari as Lalu!

The most coveted state for all the national level politicians - UP. The talks about the third alliance all starts from here. The available alternatives in the state are the BSPs, the SPs, the BJPs and the Congs. For a whopping number of 80 seats, the number of alternatives seems to be too less a number. So winning a decent number of seats here means, you have swept two of any other states. This is the factor which is giving Maayawathi, her dreams of PMship. If the BSP wins some 40 odd seats, then either they themselves can form a third alliance with Maayawathi as the PM or they can support the UPA with Maayawathi as any minister! (How about Finance baby?!). Same story with the SP. If they can pick some 30 or so then they will be in the driver seat. So SP or BSP, UP people are lucky, I must say. BJP can no way get into the picture with both SP and BSP turning their backs to them. Cong has got atleast a second cousins' tie up with the Congress. So, if Cong can strike that tie, Lucky they! Else, Oh BSP! damn India!

Monday, February 23, 2009

Lets not get மூக்கி மூக்கி - #1

So, so you think you can tell?
Heaven from Hell?
Hindu from Dinamalar?

Yeah you certainly can do that! Go to the centre page. Go through the columns just as you would do on the final hour before a compre ..
If you are able to catch upon jargons and jargons only, then thts Hindu for ya ..
On the contrast, if you get to read some of chennai's colloquial bad words, then you are probably reading Dinamalar.
With the Hindu, for the worthy matter you are an ignorant audience. With the Dinamalr, for the totally unworthy crap you are too clever a reader!

Anyway, I've decided to do my business both the ways. So while the cheeky cheeky series gets along with some worthy matter, this mooky mooky series is all the same matter, wrapped up as a crap.

So, ipo enna matter na, 4 months la election ..
As such DMK, ADMK thaandi namakelaam edhuvum theriyaadhu dhan .. irundhalum paavam edho India ngraainga .. namma PM ngraainga .. so, adhukaaga Congress, BJP pathi konjam talk alaam ..

Adutha 5 years ku PM aagra chances 3 perukku dhan .. 
1. BJP  saarba - Mr. Advani or Nitish kumars or Narendra Modis ..
2. Cong saarba - Chidambarams or Lalus or Rahuls or X or Y or Z .. (one less than Infinity, infinity is reserved for the next case!)
3. Third allaince ngra paerla oru comedy - Mayawathi, Extreme Lefts, konjam Lefts, Nadu veetu naaigal, slight a Rights, Extreme rights, Korathis, Koravans .. Everybody above 25! (yeah, now you can comprehend infinity!)
So thts d stage set as of now!

Firstu AP ..
AP la indha vaatti elections la, BJP, Praja Rajyam (Chiranjeevi's) laam naam ke vaas dhan .. Real contenders are the ruling Congress and TDP (read as chandra babu naidu) .. Indha third allaince nu oru possibility uruvanadhe Mayawathis BSP, Naidus TDP, Jayas ADMK and Everybodys Left naala dhan .. 
AP la romba naala irukara problem Telangana problem .. which simply put, south AP people are asking for a seperate state! TDP is for the move .. so if they get some solid representations in the Parliament then sure a AP a pirichuduvainga .. Hyd based people are against this move ..
So out of the 42 seats in AP, TDP oru 20 ku mela laam Win panna, govindha govindha! Sure shot comedy dhaanungo! So indha comedy elaam paaka vendam nu nenaikravanga, AP la 10 seat ku mela TDP ku poga koodadhunu vendikonga!

But as of now, ruling Cong side dhan makkal support irukara maadiri theridhu .. which is a gud news for the anti-third allaince people like me! 

Nest namma TN ..
TN la thamaaso thamaas .. 2004 la, DMK was a part of the then incumbent BJP & co. Polls ku just 2 months munnala scope e illadha calculations laam pottu they broke the alliance with BJP. Result? Clean sweep, irukara 39 seats um pocket la potainga .. So what happened? TN na edho oru orathula irukara state nu illama, namakkum oru nalla representation parliament la for the 1st time kedachadhu ..
But this time, DMK ku avlo support irukardha therila .. which means ADMK! Third Alliance! same story as in AP .. because ADMK most probably will not be going with BJP!
So basically local ADMK, DMK politics a marandhutu vote panna dhan 3rd alternative form aaradha thadukka mudiyum .. illana oru kaalathula Hindi edhirpu seydha naamelaam, 'Maayawathi khi jei' paada vendi dhan .. (I have a feeling that she doesn't have any idea about South India .. not just no idea .. she ll probably be thinking that Chennai is in Karnataka, Banglore is in AP, Thirupathi is in TN .. indha level idea dhan irukum nu I guess!)

So, ADMK seats above 20 nu veinga, Parliament la comedy nichayam .. Indha vaaram Mayawathi PM a irukum vaaram! Nexst vaaram Naidu iruka pogum vaaram! adhuku abbura vaaram Jaya PM aavum vaaram! 

தொடரும்!

P.S - Those of you who prefer to read cheeky cheekys can skip mooky mookys! 
Disclaimers & the Post script of cheeky cheeky no. 1 dittoed here!

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Lets get Cheeky Cheeky - #1

I'm sitting here in the boring room
It's just another sunny Saturday afternoon
I'm wasting my time
I got nothing to do
I'm hanging around
I'm waiting for you
But nothing ever happens and I wonder ..

This monkey's mind is switching between different birches ..
Lets love .. Lets talk friends .. Lets movie .. Lets dhum .. Lets mujic ..
I do this for long .. for no reason I finally settle upon this .. Lets talk Politics ..

Any one of these three are gonna be elected as the PM, this summer .. 1. Advaniji, 2. Rahulji and 3. Mayawathiji.

Ofcourse, there are the Modis and Nitishs to substitute Mr. 1, Lalus and Manmohan kinds to substitute Mr. 2. Jayas or any leftists to substitute Ms. 3 ..
Still just for my boredomssake, Lets take 1,2,3 as they are ..

But nothing ever happens and I wonder ..

I wonder what is in the minds of the people of AP .. the stage seems to be set up for, only the Congress and the TDP. No BJP. Last time they had a heavy loss here and so, India's shining ended. This time they dont even have a side stage.

So if TDP gets the numbers above congress, then there we go, the third alliance are to rule the country. So, its left to the populace. Are they gonna bank upon the known devil, or, blindly are they gonna go for the unkown angel .. One main issue is going to be the Telungana problem, in which if the third alliance gets into power, on the wall APs division will be written for sure.
But, this is not a state election and the unknown angel is for sure known to be more of a devil than of an angel.

I'm inclined to make a guess here at the numbers - total 42 .. For Mr. 2 some 20-23, and for Ms. 3 15-17 .. but please, 17 is a huge number!
So, those of you who dont want the third option to get the numbers, dont give then much above 10.

But nothing ever happens and I wonder .. 

Home my sweet home .. Tamil nadu .. Well, the last time here we saw one of the brilliant moves in Indian politics. DMK was there with the India shining gang .. All of a sudden, for the shock of the milk shakes, they came out, then wat? swept the polls .. a real solid representation for TN in the Parliament .. so tht was politics then .. 

Now this time, hazy clouds of the economy, lankan issues, all seem to be covering out the ever Rising sun. If that happens, then the reversal of 2004 .. one of the big names of the third alliance, Jaya will have a cake walk .. then what? again a real strong representation of TN in the Parliament. But then, last time there was only Congress to be cajoled. This time, there ll be hundreds of other Indian partys forming the govt and hence to get something done, you gotta stoop, literally!

So if  the UPA allaince are  given atleast a 10 odd seats then well and good .. the possibility of having a third alliance on charge will become bleak .. But then, TNs representation will be indigent. On the other hand, if its going to be the reversal of 2004, then, life becomes a struggle. As such, the third alliance is an unknown devil after all.

And my guess - total 39 - Pro third alliance - 28 - 30, UPA - 8-9 .. 
If in AP the TDPs make it to 20s and in TN if third gang are given some 30s then, Mayawathiji kee jai! But please, save the south, We know nothing of this angel!

So, those of you who dont want the third gang to get the numbers, dont give then much above 10-12. I wish, we ll continue to have the solid representation in the parliament that we are having now. So how I wish, wish UPA are given some 20 odds ..

But, but .. a repeat of the DMKs stunt in 2004 .. well, keep your fingers crossed! 

-More to be wondered ..

Disclaimer: All the contents and intents of this cheeky cheeky series are my personal words and views respectively!
They are not to be mistaken for any opinion polls or any of those serious stuff. I've not sought anybody's opinion.

P.S - All ya 'Billion Votes' followers, just a reminder, I have not and will not use any of their stats.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

There’s no Alibi

As a sequel to the last two posts ..
When You are left to choose between chewing your past or 'penn'ing your future, I would say... Well! First hear this song ..

"So let Mercy Come
And Wash Away
What I’ve Done ...

I'll face myself
To Cross out what I’ve Become
Erase Myself
And let Go of What I’ve done

Put to rest
What you Thought of Me
While I clean this Slate
With the Hands of Uncertainty ..

For What I’ve Done
I start again
And whatever pain may come
Today this ends
I’m Forgiving What I’ve Done!!!"

Now, you ll hear for yourself what to do ..
Everytime Me hears this song, he ends up with an uncertainty for sure. And his shaky mind prefers chewing ..

P.S - Ironically, for every 2 options you have, there lies an intrinsic, interesting 3rd option as well! Here ofcourse, forget chewing n penning, shut the F up, then what? carry on coding as d usual ..

Y do we penn down things!!

So good to see you here Venkata Sarma....but no one escapes my claws...here this one for you...!!

Ur Question - "Y do we penn down things to do and not penn down things we have done"

My Answer - When do we say we have done something?...do we say to things which we might do easily(just like that) or doing our routine things like brushing,bathing,blah-blah...? nope we say we did things when we ACCOMPLISH something noticable.

Now here i am the self proclaimed "Annan" trying to penn down things i have done in my life till now...dont mind my comparison with you...scene happens in Krizna redi...

Gundoos - Dei enna nu da solla...first of all enakku padippu varaadhu so nothing done that side....i never enjoyed a flourinshing academic career like urs da....

Sarma - vidu machan!!...ellarukkum padippu vandhuruma enna?...adhkku laam brain venum da...seri vera edha sollu...any special talents?

Gundoos - Illa machan... i was a lazy bum right from my first day....moreover endha vishayathlayum interest illa da...i dont play the guitar/piano/drums/mridhangam/tabla/nadhaswaram/gatam like you da...i accept u r multi talented in these and also blessed with a magical voice...but i am unlucky here da...

Sarma - Ohho...seri maama idhuvum theroyaadhu nu sollitta...life la enna da pannuva enthu vaa?/...ENTHU naa enna nu theriyuma da unakku?...seri atleast dance aaduviya enna?

Gundoos - Dei over aa illa unakku i cant dance too...for obvs reasons....

Sarma - Dei...ponnunga apram kadalai matter laa annan range daa...seri ponnunga apdi ipdi andha vishayathula edhavadhu?

Gundoos - Dei dei naan enna unna maari manmadha kunjaa da?...edho pesirkaen da...but avlo vaa yaarum madhikka maatanga da...nee mattum epdi da?...ellathliyum range aa irukka...

Sarma - (not listening to my boring failure life story and interestingly sighting an illad girl)...Dei anga paathiya da andha ponna?...dei dei cha! poita da...naan paakraen therinjum evalo thimiraa vegama cycle a oatittu poitaa paathiya da...Otha!...ava thimira adakki kaatraen da...Otha! avala *****....

Gundoos - Dei machan kalakre da...enna confidence unakku life la...vera enna da achieve pannirka nee life la...inumae enna pathi solla edume illa da...

Sarma - seri seri tension aavadha...naan sports la semma killaadi da....gilli/kabaddi/cricket/tennis ellam national level la vilayadirkaen da...especially basketball laa school team captain da...

Gundoos - Dei unna pathi avalo dhana?...innum irukkaa?

Sarma - Dei irukku da...ana nee romba jealous aayduva adhellaam kaettaa...

Gundoos - Dei enna pathi oru matter kedaciruchu da...atlast!....happa ivalo yoschu yoschu ippo dhan onnu thonuchu...kelem

Sarma - seekram solli thola da...onnuthukkum laayakku illadha dog...nee enna da pannirka pora life la..

Gundoos - Dei serious aa...thanks da...atleast oru velaiyavadhu urupadiya pannirkaen da life la...Dei Kelen!!

Girl X - (waves her hand at Sarma)...Hey polama?...

Sarma - (looking at the girl)....sure sure....bye machan!!...paapoam

Gundoos - dei dei kettutu po da...plzz da...

Sarma - Bye Machan!


So that one thing which i have done in my life till now is to "kalaaichify others" or teasing others...aana idha solradhukulla...Sarma avaroda adutha achievement ku kelambitaaru...

So combine all the Sarma sentences to form para #1 and all the Gundoos statements to form para #2...so #2 is nothing compared to #1...and that #2 is apparently all of our sad lifes...when you have people who achieve everything near you...you also stay in the same level and go thru the same thing but with different qualifications(i dont mean academics here but other qualities rather)...so it always makes you look back at your life and make you sad...but look forward to your future...thinking about to make every moment from now on meaningful and worthwhile...So alwasy thinking ahead is good and better...

Thinking about what you have done till now?...you are just 21+ now...and you have your whole life after 50 to do this and it wud be apt to do it at that time only...So stop worrying about this...if you are so determined to do something in life...write down just two random things that you would like to do within some given point of time...achieve that and see happy you are about yourself on accomplishing this...rather than trying to break your head thinking about your past...even you can have this as a task...to find 5 best things that i have done in my life till now before end of this month and you achieve that...you wud be happy!!...So aneway look forward!!...

Atlast, When did i start giving good advices to people other than my witty remarks and wise cracks...aneway this adds up to things i have done till just now!! :D

Things I wanna do in Life b4 30 after 50!! ALL THOSE CRAP

Y do we always startin penning down the things i wanna do i dont wanna do and all that crap!!! Lookes like none of us ever wanna even think of what all we have done??? Y not.. ever once think what all you have done in your life rather than sitting and listin what u wanna do... perhaps what we have done makes more sense than what we wanna do... Many a times we can only smirk at the fact many of us here only jot down all points but perhaps very few of us actually try to even do it.....
I know boys i dont match yer calibre but will soon catch up...
dei so called man-i-GAAANDA ( do u ever kno what this means in hindi??)enna da solra and My deeeerst don sit.. and dei gundooos... hi to u tooo!!!!
-to b continued!!!!